Soldier Mine Page 14

He has a way of deflating my negative emotions, of grounding me. Holding my gaze, Petr is smiling faintly. This time, when I see the happiness in his face, I don’t feel envious of him and Todd the way I have before. I feel like I, too, can participate in their little happy club. He’s done more to help my brother than I ever could. If he asks me to trust him …

  “Always,” I murmur.

  “Good,” he responds and takes me in his arms again. “He’s a good kid, Claudia, and he now understands what it means to make a decision like using a weapon.”

  “You’ve done so much for him. For us,” I say, a little distressed by the enormity of Petr’s involvement in my life while I tried to pretend he wasn’t there.

  “When you care about someone, it’s what you do,” he shrugs.

  “It’s not what I do! I made you ask me out every day for weeks.”

  “Twice,” he teases.

  I groan.

  “Or is it three times?” He pretends to consider.

  “Stop!” I retort.

  He laughs. “Not trying to escape before you have my hide for Todd learning to shoot, but I’ve got a family affair to wrap up,” he says. “You want to meet me upstairs on the couch where we first kissed? It’s a little less crowded.” His eyes are twinkling again.

  Hell, yes, I do. But I play it cool. “You’ll find out when you get upstairs, won’t you?” I reply.

  He winks. “You’ll be there.” Kissing me lightly on the lips, he moves away.

  I watch him, floored. In the matter of half a day, my life has gone from ruined to perfect. It’s been so long since I experienced this kind of happiness, I’m not sure what to do with it or how long I’ll last before I outright explode.

  Chapter Seventeen: Petr

  If I woke up this morning with the notion that Claudia would be here tonight, looking at me the way she did, I would’ve laughed at myself. It didn’t seem possible after nearly a month of rejections that she’d change her mind.

  But she has, and I can’t get through my duties as host fast enough. Her expression when she said the words it’s over is stuck in my mind. The shadow that’s been in her gaze since we met was gone, replaced by the spark of a person I always suspected was beneath her thick exterior.

  Thanks to Todd, I understand what this means, even if I can’t tell her I know. She’s done running, and Todd can stay here like he wants to.

  I get my shot with Claudia after all. I can’t recall the last woman who managed to touch my emotions and stir my blood with this amount of intensity. There’s one obstacle left, now that hers are gone.

  My leg.

  My step slows as I ascend the stairs to the second floor. If I had to guess, Claudia isn’t the kind of person who will care that I’m half a man, but the voice is there, challenging the idea any woman could accept me as I am.

  Quashing it, I reach the top of the stairs and stride down the hallway. I haven’t been this nervous or excited about spending time with someone since I was a teen, and knowing it’s the woman I’ve been waiting for …

  I take a deep breath to settle my rattled senses. I want tonight to last forever.

  The second floor is vacant for now. A little later, when family return to their guest rooms, it’ll be more crowded.

  Claudia is in the middle of the couch where we first kissed, her legs tucked beneath her and head resting on the back of the couch while she stares into the fire. There’s a softness to her features that hasn’t been present before now, a light in her eyes as if she’s found new life.

  “Just my luck. You decided to show up,” I tease and sink onto the couch beside her. Wrapping an arm around her, I pull her into my body and breathe in her scent. She rests a hand on my chest and relaxes into me.

  I love it, the tiny sign of surrender after two months of restraint. We sit together in silence for a long moment. It’s harder than I expect for me to keep my hands from roaming her body. If I’ve learned anything from our interactions, it’s that she sets the pace and tone, which means I have to be patient a little longer.

  She lifts her head and straightens enough to gaze at me. I touch her soft cheek and admire the way her plump lips part as she looks at me.

  I can’t get over how changed she is. The burden she’s carried for four years is now gone. “You’re beautiful,” I murmur and trace her lips and jaw with my thumb. “I’ve thought so from the first time you rejected me.”

  She smiles. “I never meant for you to be hurt or suffer or anything else.”

  “I know. You’re too sweet for that.”

  “God, it killed me some days to tell you no!”

  “That makes two of us.”

  “I am sorry, Petr.” She searches my gaze.

  “Don’t be.” I smile and touch my forehead to hers. “I’m happy you’re happy now.”

  “You are the best person who ever lived.” She takes my cheeks and kisses me, this time with far less control than before. Her hunger is contagious, the brittle barrier of restraint between us cracking fast. I shift to better embrace her and kiss her deeply, enjoying the feel of her warm body pressed to mine.

  I trail kisses down the side of her jaw and to her neck. She shivers, clutching me to her closer. I push her shirt down to reach her collarbone. My tongue flickers out to taste her skin, and I almost groan.

  Everything about her is absolutely perfect.

  She takes my face again and kisses me wildly once more. I’m doing my best to rein in my desire, but it’s hard when the woman I want most in the world is all but daring me to break the bonds on my control.

  “If you keep kissing me like this, I’ll assume you want to stay tonight,” I break away and whisper, gazing into her gorgeous gaze.

  “On your floor?” she asks with faux innocence, breathless.

  “Anywhere you want,” I reply with a grin. “Is that a yes?” I hold my breath and wait, watching her expression. She confessed to being afraid earlier, and I see the flicker of fear that crosses her features, accompanied by a familiar yearning and desire. “Whatever you’re ready for,” I say gently. “You can tell me no for another month, if it makes you more comfortable.”

  “I trust you, Petr.” She traces my face with her fingertips. “Today is already the best day of my life. I want to spend it with you. So … yes. I’ll stay.”

  Laughter comes from down the hallway, a sign at least one guest is headed up to our area. Leaning back, I take Claudia’s hand.

  “C’mon. I have an equally good couch in my room,” I say with a grin.

  She’s blushing and smiling, her hair mussed from the couch and eyes radiant.

  We hurry down to my room. I open the door and lock it automatically before tugging her towards the promised couch. The fireplace in here is lit as well, and I stop before it, facing her.

  “You doing okay?” I ask and pull her into my arms.

  She smiles up at me. “Best day ever, Petr.”

  “You haven’t seen my leg yet,” I half-joke, immediately hating the note of uncertainty in my tone.

  “Petr,” she says. “You’re not worried about me rejecting you because of your leg, are you?”

  “Nah.” But I look away a little too quick. She’s smart enough to catch it.

  “You are,” Claudia murmurs. “Why?”

  I try to shrug it off. “A couple bad experiences with women.”

  She rises on her tiptoes and plants a light kiss on my lips. “Show me.”

  “Now?”

  “You were planning on taking your pants off tonight, weren’t you?” she retorts coolly.

  I laugh.

  “Show me.” Claudia moves out of my grip and steps away, the look on her face one she uses with Todd.

  “All right.” My hands are clammy as I unbutton my jeans. “You may see more than my leg,” I say with a grin, unable to control the erection straining my jeans.

  She glances down and turns pink, then smiles. “Strip, Petr.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I le
an down to untie my shoes and nudge them off then push my jeans to the floor. The single, tiny button on my boxers is thus far managing to contain my arousal.

  Her eyes go from it with a wicked grin to my leg, and she grows thoughtful. The prosthetic’s combination of skin-toned rubber and metal doesn’t fool anyone. A prototype, it was designed for function rather than to be aesthetically pleasing.

  “Oh, Petr,” she murmurs at last.

  “Might as well show you the full effect,” I grunt. Peeling off my sweater and t-shirt, I turn my back to her. “The blast hit me from behind. No scars on my chest but my back was tore up pretty bad.”

  My heart is pounding. This is where I struck out twice with two different women over the past year. The leg shocked them; the knotted, gnarly scars across my back did them in. It didn’t matter I have washboard abs and an upper body chiseled in the gym. They’d been unable to get over the fact I’m not a full man anymore and what remains of me is badly damaged.

  When she touches my back, I flinch, not expecting her soft, cool hands on my skin. She traces the scars and runs her hands over my back before sliding in front of me. There are tears in her eyes that make me almost curse.

  Brianna broke down and sobbed at this point.

  Claudia picks up the dog tag dangling in the middle of my chest. “It’s Mikael’s,” I explain. “Katya has the other one.”

  I brace myself for rejection. It hurt coming from Brianna, and I didn’t care nearly as much for her as I do Claudia.

  Claudia … she’ll crush me. I don’t know when I fell this deeply for her, but I’m there now, and all I can do is wait. There are tears on her cheeks. I close my eyes, not wanting to see her revulsion when she rejects me.

  She places her hands on my chest and runs them up to my shoulders, her touch light enough to tickle. Her fingertips trace up my neck to my cheeks, and she lifts onto her tiptoes again and pulls my head down to her simultaneously.

  Claudia flutters kisses across my jaw, up the side of my face, across my nose, eyelids, forehead and back down. The light kisses tickle as much as her touch. I rest my hands on her hips instinctively to steady her. Unable to bear the suspense of her silence, I capture her lips with mine and kiss her hard and deep, aware it might be our last.

  When she pulls away, she rests her wet cheek against mine. “I am so sorry for your pain, Petr,” she whispers and begins the fluttering kisses once more. “So sorry. You are … too good to suffer. If I could take away your pain … bring Mikael back …”

  I embrace her once more, all but hauling her into my body at the soft, sweet response. “I have a sleeve for it, if you want me to cover it.”

  “No. Never.” She pulls away and meets my gaze, her eyes shining with tears. “Petr, you are beautiful, whether or not you see it.” The genuine warmth and affection in her expression mystifies me.

  I wipe her tears away, speechless for a moment. I never thought anyone could say something that could reach the depths of me the way her simple words do. Our unusual connection has always been borderline supernatural, in my opinion. I’ve been drawn to her quiet sauciness and warm heart since we met, and it’s only grown from there.

  She eases back from me and lifts her sweatshirt off to reveal the faint pink bra beneath. Shimmying out of her leggings, she then stands before me once again. The fear is still in her eyes, but there’s trust as well and emotion too intense for me to categorize.

  It takes me a minute to process the fact she’s not only accepting me as I am, but she’s taking the next step forward, too.

  “C’mere.” I take her hand and lead her to the ottoman, sitting. I pull her into my lap, and she straddles me, her feet dangling off the ottoman behind me. She shifts against my arousal, and I resist the urge to press it against her. “I need to ask you something before anything happens.”

  Claudia settles onto my lap and wraps her arms around my head, gazing into my eyes as she waits.

  “The last time we kissed, you ran away,” I say with a half-smile. “You are certain this is what you want?”

  She nods.

  “I’ve never wanted anyone or anything as much as I do you, Claudia,” I whisper. “You are one night away from stealing my heart. I need you to be sure. I care about you too much for this to be a one night stand or a chink in your armor.”

  “I understand,” she whispers back. “Petr, I swear to you. This is what I want. Tomorrow won’t change that. A week or two or three or a year or any length of time won’t change that.”

  “Will you tell me what’s prevented you from this before?”

  She hesitates, a flicker of unease and the shadow returning. “Yes, Petr, I will.”

  The response fills me with a sense of relief more profound than any I’ve ever known. “In the morning,” I murmur, barely able to tolerate sitting so still when I want to be buried deep inside her.

  She smiles, stretches back and releases her bra to free her coral tipped breasts. Tossing it aside, she leans into me, skin against skin. “Will you make love to me?”

  “Absolutely,” I say with a grin. I take her cheeks in my hand and gaze once more into her blue eyes. “I would’ve waited a lifetime for you, Claudia.”

  “You don’t have to, Petr.” She kisses me, and this time, I know talk-time is over for the night.

  My hands slide down her arms to her back and down. I grip her backside and pull her against my aching erection, then brace one arm around her back. Kissing her hungrily, I explore her body with my free hand, pausing to skim her nipples and dwelling on the softness of the skin of her stomach. Releasing her mouth, I trail hot kisses down her neck once more, relishing the taste of her skin, before taking the tight bud of her nipple into my mouth.

  Claudia moans softly as I suckle and nip at it, her hands running through my hair while she moves against my arousal. Her underwear is between us still, an annoyance I can’t stand. Teasing her second nipple, I then gently push her to her feet without standing and slip her underwear off. She’s quivering, her hands running down my arms and across my shoulders as I skate mine down her perfect hourglass shape. I admire every inch and curve of her body and the way the firelight dances across her skin before pent up desire gets the best of me. I fish out a condom from my jeans.

  Standing, I claim her mouth with pure need and pull her against me, one hand roaming down her side. Shifting my hips back, I slide my palm down to the mound of her pussy and press before sliding my fingers into her slick, hot core.

  She moves against my hand, and I move my fingers in and out of her, loving how wet she already is for me. Her feminine form is malleable, her surrender complete, and the primal male in me shouts in victory after the long wait to reach this point.

  Unable to wait much longer, I lean back and unroll the condom quickly over my dick. I then shift her body and lift her onto my hips, holding her securely as I penetrate the hot depths of her body with my erection.

  She gasps and clings to me. “Oh, god, Petr!” Her legs wrap around me and pull me deeper into her. She shudders and holds me close. I bury my face in the nook of her neck and breathe in her scent, waiting for her to adjust to my size before I begin to claim her for real.

  Being inside her with our bodies pressed together … I’ve never known this kind of connection between two people existed. It’s so natural and peaceful, I’m temporarily yanked out of the haze of need. I’ve never had such a perfect moment, never been matched with such a perfect partner. Her pussy is squeezing me hard, her thighs even harder, and her quick breath tickles my ears.

  “This is the way … it’s supposed to be,” she manages breathlessly. “I need to be closer.” She shifts against me.

  “Agreed,” I murmur and kiss the skin of her neck. “I need to taste you, Claudia.”

  She gives a shaky laugh. “Then taste me.”

  It’s all the invitation I need. I carry her to the bed and lay her down gently on it, remaining between her legs. Her demanding mouth distracts me from my goal of tasting
her pussy. I move in and out of her, my senses filled with the friction of our bodies sliding against one another, of the scent of her arousal and the command of her lips. I don’t want my skin ever to leave direct contact with hers, but I also want this to be a night she remembers.

  Sliding out of her body, I shift back onto my good knee and release her mouth as well.

  “Ready?” I ask with a wicked grin.

  “Petr!” she groans, tugging at my arms.

  “Oh, no, Claudia. You tortured me for almost two months. My turn.” I maneuver between her knees and nudge them apart so there’s enough room for my shoulders. Pushing my hands under the plump rounds of her butt, I shift her hips into position and take a moment to observe the perfect flower before me.

  Nuzzling my nose against her clit, I smile as she gasps. I nip at the swollen outer lips of her pussy before gliding my tongue along the inner lips. Dipping it into her core to taste her, I give a purely male, purely primal growl of satisfaction at the slick, sweet flavor of her. Flicking my tongue into her, I follow the inner lips upwards, and brush the hard button of her clit ever so gently.

  She jerks and gasps.

  I hold her still, satisfied to discover she’s so sensitive. I push two fingers into her core and begin stroking her g-spot while my tongue swirls around her clit. Her hands are clutching my hair, her sighs turning to pants as I alternate speed and pressure, until finally, she starts to beg.

  “Torture,” I say and lift my mouth, thrilled by the way her beautiful body writhes.

  “Please, please, please!” she groans and paws at my shoulders and upper arms. “Please go inside me, Petr.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I say with a small laugh. Moving my way up her once more, I settle between her thighs and rest my torso weight on the forearms on either side of her head. The contact of our skin sends my sense skittering once more.

  Her eyes are glazed, her need real enough that she’s squirming beneath me. She grabs my cheeks and pulls me down to kiss me. For once, Claudia is out of control, and I love the sight of it.

  “You want me inside you?” I break away to whisper and meet her gaze.