The Grey God (War of Gods 4) Page 17

  “I’m terrified, Darian!” she snapped. Her voice rose until she was shouting at him, and any control she had over herself slid away. “When I left the immortal world, I taught myself not to feel, never to be vulnerable to someone else hurting me. I’ll live with their deaths on my shoulders for the rest of my life. That’s what love does to you, Darian! It makes you vulnerable. It destroys you over the course of a very, very long time! If that means I dive off a cliff to keep the Others from using me against you, I’ll do it. I couldn’t bear it, Darian, if I hurt you like Claire did or to be hurt like that again!”

  Jenn moved away from him and swiped at tears on her face. Darian debated whether to pursue or let her go. She was a proud woman, one who didn’t like being out of control. Right now, she was nowhere near control.

  “I won’t let myself love you, and I won’t let you fall in love with me,” she added, snatching her coat and jerkily pulling it on as she strode to the door.

  “Too late,” he replied.

  She froze, hand on the doorknob.

  “For me, anyway,” he added carefully, moving towards her. “Anything Jonny and the Others do to you, they do to me. You can’t run from me, Jenn, any more than you can run from yourself.”

  Her hand dropped.

  “Now, about my question,” he pushed again.

  “I’m sensing any objection I have to this game is futile,” she said after a pause. Her voice was ragged.

  “You can object all you want. But this isn’t a game you’ll win. I’ll push you until you break. Eventually, you’ll give up and admit you see what’s right in front of your face.”

  “One condition, and I’ll answer your question.”

  “Depends on the condition,” he replied.

  “If the Others take me to the immortal world, and you must choose between me and the fate of humanity, you will save the mortal world,” she said, turning to look up at him again.

  Darian met her gaze, debating. It was a loaded question by a woman capable of manipulating a situation to her advantage.

  “My devotion to being a Guardian is the foundation of who I am. I won’t accept you, if you don’t understand that about me.”

  “Deal.” He reached forward, half expecting her to punch him, and wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb.

  “Then my answer is yes,” she said.

  “You earned yourself another cheeseburger,” he said. He dropped his hand and stepped aside, motioning to the living room.

  Jenn hesitated before moving past him. Darian relaxed, aware he’d won the hardest battle yet. His gaze followed her as she sat on the couch again. Their exchange kicked her ass more than an hour of sparring. She rubbed her face.

  Until she recovered, he was content to feed her. She’d lost too much weight over the past couple of weeks. Sofi and Bianca had taught him how to care for someone else, and he was going to put those lessons to good use with his stubborn mate. Like him, she didn’t know when to throw in the towel. Darian retrieved more cheeseburgers and beers from the kitchen.

  “What happens now?” Jenn asked as he returned. The guardedness was back in her voice.

  “Whatever you want,” he said in as level a voice as he could. He set their dinner down.

  “What if I don’t want anything to happen?”

  Darian sat down. “Then nothing happens.”

  “No, really,” she said, crossing her arms.

  “Yes, really. I’m not some source you’re obligated to sleep with. You have a few things to learn about a healthy relationship,” he said. “Though I’ll admit, I’m really curious for you to teach me a few things, since you’ve been with so many men. Like, thousands, right?”

  Fuck. Darian wished to take the words back the moment he said them. He grabbed a cheeseburger and took a huge bite, glancing up.

  Jenn looked startled. She began to laugh.

  “That was meant as a compliment. I meant to say, you probably know a lot more than I do because I’ve been with one woman only,” he said when he’d swallowed. “It didn’t come out right that time either, did it?”

  Jenn laughed harder. Darian relaxed, pleased to see her genuinely laughing after their otherwise traumatic night.

  “Sorry,” she managed at last. “I’m really not laughing at you.”

  “It’s fine if you do. I’m happy to see you smile again.”

  “Not many people can take me by surprise, but you manage to every time we’re together.”

  “I imagine you like that about me,” he guessed. “Seems like it would appeal to your cruel streak of messing with people to see what they’ll do.”

  “It does,” she confirmed. “I admire you, Darian. No one can go through what you have and still have the sense of humor you do.”

  “Do we have a shot together?”

  She hesitated then said slowly, “If you felt a fraction of what I did in the wine cellar …”

  “Good,” he said.

  “Did you?”

  “Like nothing I ever felt before,” he replied honestly. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I do you. I wouldn’t have walked away that day.”

  Jenn’s gaze flashed with a different emotion before she looked away. He recognized her desire. It ran through him as well. She hadn’t quite yet surrendered to her fate at his side; this much he sensed.

  “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight,” he added. “No pressure.”

  “I think I can handle you if you get fresh,” she replied, amused.

  “I’ll cave if you get fresh with me. This is for my own good.”

  “Thank you, Darian.” The tight note in her voice told him how heartfelt the simple words were. She stood. “I promise not to make you wait too long. I just need a little time to think.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Jenn nodded and strode towards the stairwell. Darian watched her then finished his cheeseburger slowly, listening to her thoughts. She was at war with herself, a war he understood too well. She’d never forgiven herself for leaving her family, and she’d never given herself permission to move on and be happy.

  He rose, distressed by the familiar despair. Darian hesitated before making his decision and taking the stairs two at a time. The door to his room was closed. He pushed it open. Jenn lay across his bed in the dark, sobbing quietly. Affected, he pushed off his boots and sat beside her. He touched her shoulder. When she neither rejected nor attacked him, he lay down beside her and wrapped an arm around her, holding her tightly against him.

  Darian closed his eyes and watched the discordant memories flickering through her mind, not wanting her to suffer alone. His heart ached to see his mate in such pain, but he knew from experience there was nothing more he could do. She had to accept her past before she, too, could move on.

  He held her until she cried herself free of tears, and her body relaxed in his arms. When her breathing grew steady, she shifted.

  “You don’t have to stay,” she said.

  “When you care about someone, you don’t run from them,” he said pointedly.

  “Ouch.”

  “Darian two, Jenn five hundred.”

  “I’ll fuck this up, Darian. Somehow, I will,” she whispered, the raw note in her voice making his arms tighten around her.

  “No, you won’t. Neither of us will. We’re a good pair. I kill Others and you rescue me,” he replied.

  “I’m serious. Aren’t you worried?”

  “I’m terrified by what comes, but I don’t fear what’s between us,” he said and kissed her temple. He let his hands travel down her arm and side, enjoying the sensation of her body.

  Silence fell. The contact of their skin was causing a raging fire within him. Darian tried hard not to think about holding her body against his in his own bed. She didn’t move away from him, the first sign she’d given that maybe she had come to terms with their relationship moving to the next level. He left her mind alone, not wanting to intrude now that she was calmer.

  His body bur
ned for her, while her body relaxed even further as she drifted asleep. Darian didn’t let her go even then, instead soothing her mind enough for her to sleep in peace.

  The muffled ring of his new phone woke him just as dawn’s light crept through the window. Jenn was asleep, curled against him. Darian withdrew from her and the room, trotting down the stairs to hunt down the phone.

  He reached it as it ceased ringing.

  Yully flashed across the screen, identifying who called.

  Darian called her back.

  “Darian!” she sounded panicked. “I can’t find anyone! Bianca, Sofi—”

  “Wait, what’s wrong?” he asked.

  Yully responded, her thick Irish lilt and the poor phone reception frustrating him.

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” he said and snapped the phone closed. Darian started towards the stairwell then stopped, not wanting to disturb Jenn after their long night.

  He’d go, grab Yully, and come back, he decided. He closed his eyes to Travel, opening them in the living area of Damian’s Texas ranch.

  “Darian!” Yully cried from the second floor, where she all but hung over the railing. “They’re gone!”

  “Yully, gods, can’t you tell me what’s going on?” he demanded, bounding up the stairs. Yully flew down the hall ahead of him, and he ran to catch up with her, not convinced she hadn’t lost it.

  “Gone!” she said, throwing open Bianca’s door. She raced to the next one. “Gone!”

  Darian peeked into one bedroom then the other, a sense of doom sinking into his stomach. His senses picked up more Watcher and Other activity than normal this morning. The house, however, was the opposite. He heard nothing aside from Yully’s quick step down the hall to yet another door.

  “Charles!” she shouted and opened another door. “Oh. He’s here, but … no one else is, Darian.”

  “You’re sure they didn’t go out for breakfast?” he asked uneasily, joining her at Charles’ door.

  Charles was half dressed, wearing sweats only. Darian stared at him. The former vamp’s baleful look remained, but his eyes were blue, not red.

  “They don’t go out for breakfast,” Yully said. “All the vehicles are here. But none of the Guardians are.”

  “That makes no sense. They can’t just disappear.” Darian moved into the center of the hallway, gazing around.

  “Maybe the Others got fed up with you hauling off their people,” Charles replied. “You know, girl, not every vamp wants to be human.”

  “You volunteered,” Yully said.

  “I volunteered to help you catch a vamp, not become the vamp you experimented on!”

  “If the Others came here and snatched everyone, why did they leave you two?” Darian asked.

  “Because we can Travel,” Charles said. “The others can’t escape.”

  “Yully can’t …” Darian gazed at her, alarm swirling within him.

  “I can,” she said. “If I can use the magic of another.”

  “Steal magic? Like you stole my fucking—” Charles sputtered.

  “Charles, this is not the time,” Darian snapped. “Yully, go get Jule.”

  Her features grew more worried at the mention of her mate. He held out his hand, and she shook her head.

  “He’s gone, too,” she whispered. “All of them are. Sofi said Jule, Dusty, and Damian would all be taken. She said to tell you they’d be safe. I didn’t know she would be gone, too.”

  Darian let her words sink in. Urgency rose within him, along with anger.

  “Get dressed. We got shit to do,” he said to Charles. The vamp grudgingly disappeared into his room. “Do you still have Hunter powers?” he called after his back.

  “Everything. I’ll starve to death by evening if you don’t change me back.”

  “I don’t give a shit right now. I can’t change you back anyway,” Darian muttered, thoughts on his missing family. Only Watchers and Others could grab everyone in the house without raising one alarm. It made sense they’d take those who couldn’t escape.

  The others can’t escape. Charles’ words struck Darian in a new light. The cuff around Jenn’s arm kept her from escaping as well. He strode into the vamp’s room and clamped a hand around his arm. Struggling into his shirt, Charles tried to yank away, but Darian Traveled to his cabin before releasing him.

  “Jenn!” he shouted, rushing up the stairs. “Jenn!” He shoved the door open.

  The bed was empty. Darian froze, listening for a moment for any sign she was somewhere else in the house.

  Jenn was gone.

  A new kind of fury rose within him.

  “What did you expect?” Charles called. “That you could run around killing and threatening them without any kind of retribution?”

  “They wouldn’t do this unless …”

  … they thought the same as Jonny, that Darian was getting ready to destroy their world. If that was what they thought, they’d hold his family hostage in the immortal world. Or maybe Charles was right and they just wanted revenge for picking them off.

  Darian’s mind worked fast as he rejoined Charles in the living room. He’d want Damian and Jonny with him if he went to the immortal world to take on the Others. Hell, he might even need the pesky little Watchers.

  “If you touch a hair on Yully’s body, I’ll slaughter you. Got it?” he said. “Go back and wait with her. Tell them I’ll be there soon. I’ve gotta corner me a Watcher.”

  Charles growled. He Traveled and Darian closed his eyes. When he opened them, he stood in the cold cave where the Watchers entered the world. One awaited him.

  “I thought you would come,” the small creature before him said.

  “Where is Jenn and the rest of my family?” Darian demanded.

  “Safe in the immortal world, for now,” the Watcher said. “That can change pretty quickly. It all depends on you.”

  “Why were they taken? Others didn’t like me picking off their kind on earth?”

  “You were destined to close the gates, Darian. You had a chance to do it in Ireland.”

  “I had no idea what I was doing in Ireland!” he retorted. “I had no real power and absolutely no guidance from you or anyone else on what my role was.”

  “You missed your opportunity.” The words were cold, unaffected by Darian’s anger.

  “And what? This pissed your kind off while killing Others pissed them off?”

  “There were two potential fates when you went to Ireland and one when you left.”

  “If I could close them then, I could do it now,” he reasoned.

  “It would take the magic of the Original Beings and Gods to do it. You were almost to that point in Ireland. With the Magician and the Other, you could’ve done it. Before Ireland, there was one gateway into the mortal world. Now, you’d need double that magic to close both.”

  “Wait a minute. You told me you had one gateway and the Others had their own. Are you saying you share gateways?”

  “I think you call it a gentlemen’s agreement. The immortal world has suffered enough. There, we are at a truce.”

  “And you come here to fight,” Darian finished darkly. “I saw what you did to the immortal world. There’s nothing left.”

  “There’s magic. That’s all we need. The mortal world has nothing we need.”

  “And the immortals stuck on earth?”

  “They can choose to go home, before the Others destroy the mortal world.” The Watcher trailed off. “Unless you beat them to it.”

  Darian’s head began to pound. Damian would’ve exploded by now, probably decimating everything in the vicinity. Darian, however, drew a deep breath.

  “It is your destiny to choose which world survives. You failed to close the gateways,” the Watcher said.

  “Why is it so absolute?” Darian questioned. “Why can’t you go back to the immortal world, fight each other there, and leave us alone?”

  “Our war will claim a world.”

  “So you’re keeping my
family hostages in the immortal world,” he said.

  “And locked up your brothers in this one to protect them. The Others were getting ready to act against them.”

  “You didn’t hurt Damian.”

  “No.” The Watcher took a step back at his lethal tone. “You must choose, Darian.”

  “I’m not going to choose a world. But I am going to slaughter any of your kind involved in this insanity. I’ll do whatever it takes to get my family back!”

  “We’re counting on it.”

  Darian’s temper snapped. He reached out to snatch the Watcher’s neck. It disappeared before he could grab it. His power surging within him, Darian closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He’d managed to control his magic for a while now, but he had to stay calm.

  Damian, Jenn, Sofi, Bianca, Dusty … all of them were trapped somewhere. All but Yully and …

  Jonny, who had told Jenn that Darian was going to destroy a world. Darian Traveled to Jonny’s, appearing in the Black God’s chambers. Clad in boxers, the startled Black God looked up from his computer. He rose, his magic rising around him like a fog.

  “What the fuck do you want?” Jonny asked.

  “The Others took Jenn.”

  The Black God’s face flushed. “That bitch made her choice.”

  Darian’s magic threw him against the wall. Jonny broke loose, dropping to the ground. Darian squatted beside him.

  “That bitch is my mate. When this is over, you and I are going to have a little talk about how shitty you treated her,” he said with calmness he didn’t feel. “And she’s not the only one missing. They took Bianca as well.”

  Jonny’s anger faded. “My sister … made her own choices as well.”

  “Bullshit. You gave up everything for her. You can’t tell me you don’t give a shit now.”

  “You fix it.” The Black God shoved him away and rose. “Who fucked up the balance in the first place? Or do you think me the ignorant idiot Jenn did?”

  “Jenn respects you. Way more than you deserve, in my opinion,” Darian replied. “If I’m not mistaken, you’re as responsible for this mess as I am. Got suckered into a deal with the Others, Jonny? You really think they’d trade an entire world for one Guardian? They took you for the fool you are.”